 |
| The culture of
'GIRLS' |
Girls are bombarded by the media,
peer pressure, and the fashion and music industries with messages about what it
means to be a girl.
You'll find suggestions on this page to help you support your daughter as she
finds her way through the minefield of adolescence. |
|
| PARTY
DIVAS |
| If your daughter is between 6 and
12 and you live in the Sussex, Kent or Surrey areas, Party Divas Moira and Viv
will organise a fun
makeover
party for you. |
|
| See also our section on
TEENS and
SPIRITED KIDS and
SURVIVING
PARENTHOOD |
|
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| Sex
and the single girl |
| The law relating to parents'
rights and
contraception for girls under 16. |
For advice and contraception,
girls can contact a GP, practice nurse, local hospital sexual health centre,
family planning clinic,
Brook
Centre,
Marie
Stopes Clinic or phone Sexwise (for under 19s)
Sexwise is available from 7.00am to midnight every day on 0800 28 29 30.
The Brook Helpline is avaiilable on 0800 0185 023
0800 numbers will not show up on a BT bill |
|
| See our book selection |
| Click on the US flag for a US
bookshop and the UK flag for a UK bookshop. US links will often reveal online
extracts courtesy of Amazon.com |
|
| THE OPHELIA
PHENOMENON |
|
Reviving
Ophelia
(new edition Oct 2002) |
| " Saving the selves of
adolescent girl" by Mary Pipher. A highly acclaimed guide for parents of
all girls (not just adolescents). |
| Ophelia's tragedy symbolizes the
effect of what Dr. Pipher calls our "girl-poisoning" culture, the
loss of self in trying to meet the expectations of others. |
| The book provides support for
parents as they mentor their daughter through a world that creates drug
addiction, unwanted teenage pregnancy and emotional problems such as depression
and eating disorders. © RH |
|
| Reviving Ophelia sparked
much discussion when it was first published and inspired The Ophelia Project which
provides mentoring for girls and advocates for creating a culture that nurtures
children |
|
Ophelia Speaks
 |
| "Adolescent Girls Write
About Their Search for Self" |
| In response to Reviving Ophelia,
teenager Sara Shandler offers the voices of her peers, giving both parents and
daughters a glimpse of the world of the adolescent girl. |
|
| WE HAVE A COPY FOR YOU! |
Ophelia's Mum
 |
| "Women Speak Out About
Loving and Letting Go of Their Adolescent Daughters" |
| Nina Shandler's response to her
daughter's 2001 bestseller. Now in a UK edition. Each chapter of her book
around specific problems, such as drugs or school |
| To enter the prize draw, see
our newsletter. |
Surviving Ophelia
 |
| "Mothers Share Their Wisdom
in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years" |
| Chapters discuss the types of
responses that out-of-control daughters elicit in their mothers, from special
mother-daughter moments to explosive anger and regret |
| The contributors are women who
have tried to do their best, even when that wasn't always enough. |
|
| Check out
the author's website for more
Ophelia Clubs and Ophelia Camps for empowering girls. |
|
 |
| "Helping Your Little Girl
Become an Extraordinary Woman" by William & Kathryn Beausay
|
Behind every exceptional daughter
is an enthusiastic parent who has been mentor, cheerleader, and her biggest
supporter.
The Beausays show how you can help your daughter reach her real potential by
teaching her to organize her personal life, influence people through personal
and public leadership, learn disciplined habits and positive attitudes, master
skills that build confidence and self-worth, build a strong spiritual
foundation, and make decisions. |
|
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| |
The challenge of ...
Raising Girls
See our Newsletter
for real life experiences of Raising Girls
and, on this page...
Parent as Mentor
Mothers and Daughters
Fathers and Daughters
Find out about The Ophelia Project
We have a FREE book for you
To enter the prize draw, answer this question
Our recommended books refer to the fictional names 'Ophelia' and 'Persephone'.
What is the name of the father of each of these characters? Click
here to send your answer and
snail amil address
Magazines for girls
Real life solutions
Anorexia and Bulimia
Sex and the single girl
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Embracing Persephone
 |
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| |
"How to Be the Mother You Want
for the Daughter You Cherish"
by
Virginia Beane Rutter |
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| |
A supportive guide to an essential transition in a mother's life. How to
resolve conflict and maintain a relationship with your daughter by handing over
power for making choices whilst maintaining rules based on her safety, health
and integrity. Will helps you adapt and evolve alongside your your growing
child. Gives a reassuring Jungian perspective on mother-daughter relationships.
|
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| |
Raising a daughter involves being her mentor, too.
This means helping her to |
|
| |
- build her self-esteem and confidence by encouraging her to
say no, speak up, ask questions, and say what she thinks.
- know who she is - her feelings, needs, abilities, passions,
and what she finds more difficult and needs help with.
- believe that as she grows up, she will be able to take care
of her own emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
- feel good about her own body and know that she owns her own
body. In a society that worships being thin and is diet-obsessed, this is a
difficult issue for many parents. © RH
See the Ophelia phenomenon in the left-hand column and
our links on anorexia and bulimia
|
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Mothers and Daughters |
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Daughters learn from their mothers about what it means to be a woman.
The best gift a mother can give her daughter is for the mother to claim her own
life - to take responsibility for what she is feeling, needing, wanting and to
follow her own dreams.
She will be modelling for her daughter true "girl power", that being
a woman means being yourself and claiming your life and that girls and women no
longer are expected to fit themselves around the needs and wishes of other
people. © RH
|
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| |
A
US guide to
boosting a girl's self-esteem
See also our page on
kids and self-esteem
|
|
| |
A mother influences her daughter's developing self-esteem through the choices
she herself makes and how she feels about herself as a mother and woman.
The mother-daughter relationship is vital for a daughter's emotional
development. It is important that mothers keep open the communication lines
with their daughters. Girls need to know that they can talk with their mum and
that their mum will listen, understand, and value their thoughts, feelings and
experiences.
Mothers provide strong anchors for daughters, when hormones and outside
pressures can be confusing and hard for a girl to navigate her way through and
develop a strong sense of self. © RH
|
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Fathers and Daughters |
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| |
Dads are very important for girls.
A girl needs to know that her father is proud of her and encourages her in her
activities.
A daughter' choice of boyfriend, future partner, self-esteem, and value as a
girl and woman is influenced by watching her father interact with their mother
and other women.
When she sees her father treat women (especially her mother) with respect, as
his equal, she learns that as a woman she has equal rights, value, and place in
the world.
If a girl watches her father treat women and her mother with disrespect,
abusively, and expecting or demanding that her mother is responsible for all
the domestic work at home, her beliefs about her rights, her expectations, and
her role as a girl and future woman, will be shaped by what she sees and hears.
© RH
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Check out
Dads an Daughters |
|
| |
|
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How to Father a Successful Daughter
by Nicki Marone
|
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| |
Marone, a high school math teacher, addresses the positive role
that fathers have in preparing girls for success in many non-traditional
fields. The book is also for mothers, teachers, and coaches trying to
understand why a sudden shift in interest away from "science
subjects" affects so many girls--and what we as adults can do about it.
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 |
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|
|
| The Motherwise Raising Girls page
has been written in partnership with
Counselling for
Women |
Counselling for Women was founded
by Rosjke (pron Roshka) Hasseldine MSc
Rosjke is a Counsellor and Psychotherapist (BACP Registered) who specialises in
mother-daughter relationships. |
|
| RECOMMENDED
WEBSITES |
|
| Check out
Rosjke's website
for further information, a
book list and a mother-daughter
relationship checklist |
|
| Families Online provides a range of information for parents of
young children. Their sectionon raising girls covers the role of mothers and
fathers separately. |
|
| MUST READ |
| When
you and your mother can't be friends by Victoria Secunda. |
| Find the profile of your daughter in this book
and you'll find out how she needs you to change! |
|
| Cyber Parent
offers a page on fathers and daughters. |
|
| Here are Rosjke's
recommendations for raising strong girls |
Celebrating Girls
|
| "Nurturing and Empowering our
Daughters" by Virginia Beane Rutter |
| An excellent guide on how to
empower your daughters into becoming strong, confident, self-loving and caring
women. |
|
|
Mothers and Daughters
 |
| "Loving and Letting Go" by Evelyn
Bassoff . |
| Evelyn Bassoff is an author to look out
for. She has written a number of books for mothers and daughters. Unfortunately
several are currently out of print. Look out for new editions. |
|
Queen Bees & Wannabes
 |
| "Helping Your Daughter
Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence"
by Rosalind Wiseman. |
| An excellent guide for parents
|
|
Odd Girl Out
 |
| "The Hidden Culture of Aggression in
Girls" by Rachel Simmons |
|
|
| REAL LIFE
EXPERIENCES |
Caroline's
story
Home education |
Duncan's story
Truancy |
| Nadine's story |
|
|
| GIRLS and
ANOREXIA |
Although boys can also be affected (10% of
sufferers are male), anorexia and bulimia tend to be a self-destructive
solution chosen by girls.
Around 1 in every 200 girls are affected by it. Depression is common and
feelings of ineffectiveness, guilt, self-hatred and low self-esteem are
virtually universal among sufferers.
Here are some useful UK websites. |
|
| Sympathetic leaflet from the
Royal College of Psychiatrists with recommended reading and
self-help. |
|
| Eating Disorders Association (EDA) A national charity offering
help and information to people with anorexia and bulimia nervosa, their
families and friends |
|
| Anorexia and Bulimia Care (ABC) has been in existence in its
present form since 1989. It is a Christian organisation run by Christians for
sufferers, their families and for carers. The website includes a special
section for parents. |
|
| International Eating
Disorders Centre run by Deanne Jade, one of world's leading specialists in
eating disorders of all kinds. |
|
| Ophelia's Place |
|
| MAGAZINES FOR TEENS |
Many teen magazines simply concentrate on sex,
diets, fashion, and boys but American Girl and
New Moon (for Girls and their
Dreams) both publish magazines for girls that are aimed at presenting a strong
and empowered image of femininity.
Though published in America, the magazines speak to girls all over the world.
They have articles and tips on studying, making things, what makes a good
friend, interests and hobbies. |
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